10 Brilliant Life Lessons From Jeremy Clarkson

The good lines.
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There are few people more enjoyable to watch on TV than Top Gear vet and Grand Tour host Jeremy Clarkson. You can probably learn a thing or two from the man.

“Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.” 

"Whenever I'm suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I'm straight off."

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.” 

"Aston Martin DB9. That's not really a racing car, that's just pornography."

“We are going to have to stop penalizing people for making that most human of gestures – mistake.” 

"The basic price of the Ferrari F430 is not really bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiment, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money."

"Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you’ve got the ebola virus and you’re about to sneeze."

"You can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo.

"It’s what non-car people don’t get. They see all cars as just a ton and a half, two tons of wires, glass, metal, and rubber, and that’s all they see. People like you or I know we have an unshakable belief that cars are living entities… You can develop a relationship with a car and that’s what non-car people don’t get… When something has foibles and won’t handle properly, that gives it a particularly human quality because it makes mistakes, and that’s how you can build a relationship with a car that other people won’t get."

"I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."