8 Biggest "I'm Compensating" Cars To Avoid At All Costs

Be car cool.
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Be car cool.

This, when it really comes down to it, is all in jest--but it's probably best to avoid the following unless you're a true enthusiast for the right reasons. Surely, there are great people who own the rides laid out here, but the way we see it, your money would be better spent elsewhere.

1.) Hummer H1

Spanning 12 yards long, and roughly two lanes wide, the 65 tons of American Pride makes our list for being the most avoidable at all costs. Dennis Miller perfectly sums up the cost of ownership, "A Hummer being driven though the jungles of Borneo is a tool. A Hummer trying to squeeze into a parking space on Rodeo Drive is being driven by a tool."

Notable Celebrities That Own A Hummer:

  • Dennis Rodman
  • Mike Tyson
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger

2.) Porsche Boxster

While we're not fans of the Boxster, the rich man's Mazda Miata will 1,000% get you a ton of roadside chatter. And looks. And disheveled gawks which result in sarcastic mumbles of, "that's not a 911." Look, for ~$60k go test drive a BMW 1M, or an Audi S6, be car cool, not the end of a poor joke.  

Notable Celebrities That Own A Porsche Boxster:

  • Vanessa Hudgens
  • Ashley Tilsdale
  • Robert Pattinson 

3.) Mercedes "G-Wagon"

If you have ~130k to spend on the "gaswagen," then all power to you. In reality, they don't make sense--aerodynamically, fuel-wise or design wise. Next time you see one on the road, ask the driver how long he/she thinks it will be in their garage for. You won't be surprised with their answers--it's never (almost EVER) long term.

Notable celebrities that own a G-Wagon: 

  • Floyd Mayweather
  • Sly Stallone
  • Kylie Jenner 

4.) Scion FR-S

While not the most expensive automobile on this list, that certainly does not detract the true price to be seen in a Fast & Furious prop-car wannabe. Don't become this driver who makes it a point to attend the Hot Import Nights Show annually. Pro-tip: scour eBay and we promise you'll find a slightly used (but much cooler) ride for less money. 

Notable Celebrities That Own A Scion FR-S: 

  • No one found 

5.) The Gravedigger (You Know, The Most Obnoxious Truck On The Road)

We get it, we fully understand that being uncool, can sometimes be cool--but not in this case. Avoid being behind the wheel of a colossal, lifted, and raised pickup truck at all times, unless of course you're a farmer or someone who moves massive loads regularly. They're way too big and serve no purpose other than showing how big and bad you are. On your next trip outside the USA, ask any native the term for "pickup tuck"--don't be shocked it doesn't exist. Be practical and put the money to more subtle, practical use. 

Notable celebrities that own Gravediggers: 

  • Willie Robertson (of Duck Dynasty)
  • The Rock
  • Toby Keith

6.) Subaru BRZ

With exterior lines inspired by Italian legend, Ferrari, the BRZ brilliantly conveys what it means to have caviar taste on a light-beer budget. Simply stated, this ride is for dudes who want the pure sports car experience, but really won't pay for it. We're not knocking your bank account, but advising to save a little longer to pay off a larger (and cooler) sports car ambition. Everyone on the planet knows the backside and prominence of  "911" roadside, never the same will be thought of when they see "BRZ."

Notable Celebrities That Own A Subaru BRZ:

  • No one found

7.) Any Yellow Sports Car

Unless you're Eric Clapton (his once super-sharp Ferrari 575 Maranello fetched £66,500 at auction), drop the egg yolk exterior. It's an unmistakable statement on the road. And one that should be reserved for taxis. Be a car gentleman. Be color cool. Never become the car owner who has to make sure everyone knows they're driving a Corvette. And never be the car owner who races to a dealership seeking the, "Screaming Yellow," or, "Ballistic Yellow," whatever. 

Notable Celebrities That Own A Yellow Sports Car: 

  • Nicolas Cage
  • Guy Fieri
  • Snoop Dogg

8.) Hyundai Genesis Coupe

The coolest thing a Genesis Coupe owner can say about their ride is that The Dude used to be their spokesperson (Paul Rudd now has that gig). Much like the Scion FR-S, you'll spot this roadside zooming by you on the way to the Specialty Equipment Market Association show. In the same range of dollars, ditch the Fast & Furious inspo and snag a used German ride with some style and class.

Notable Celebrities That Own A Hyundai Genesis Coupe:

  • No one found