13 Things No Man Should Be Caught Wearing

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Jack Archer
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Airows isn't a place that likes to get negative or snarky, the goal with this site from the beginning was to just share the coolest things in the world with a positive and inclusive tone. And it will continue to do just that. But sometimes, you see so much bad that it's practically your duty to fight against the ugly and uncool. Hopefully, if this post touches at least one man who puts away the square-toed shoes or baggy board shorts, it will have all been worth it.

1.) White Sunglasses: It's amazing that you still see dudes doing their best Guy Fieri impression in 2014 with their white sunglasses. Nothing screams "douche" more than a pair of these on your face.

2.) Novelty Underwear: Pretty sure there isn't a person on the planet who'd opt for a pair of baggy cartoon boxers over a slick pair of Calvin Klien undies when undressing you.

3.) Dress Shirts With Fancy Cuffs: These aren't luxurious or stylish, they just look super goofy and lame. Apologies to Cam from Modern Family and Thomas Pink enthusiasts everywhere.

4.) A Michael Kors Or Marc Jacobs Watch: If you're a dude and gonna sport a watch, the #1 rule is to not buy one from a company that also makes clothes. You don't need a Rolex, but something from a brand like Timex or Seiko is a 100x better look than a Michael Kors watch that looks like it was stolen from the jewelry drawer of your girlfriend.

5.) Fedora: About 2% of men can pull one of these off and look like Frank Sinatra or one of those old-timey detectives, but the odds aren't in your favor and you shouldn't even try it. Chances are, you're pretty much putting a douche beacon on your noggin if you try wearing one of these.

6.) Baggy Board Shorts: This is the mistake that most guys who otherwise dress pretty decently make most often. These things aren't flattering, don't look cool, and make you look like you're 15 years behind the curve. Opt for something simple and stylish that falls a few inches above the knee. You'll thank your future self.

7.) Necklaces: Unless you're in the military, don't sport dog tags. It's kinda disrespectful, about 10 years out of vogue, and makes you look like a tool. Other necklaces, especially puka shell, are a terrible look too, but hopefully you already knew that. A Tony Soprano-style gold chain makes you look like a want-to-be mobster and "stylish" necklaces you see in some magazines aren't pulled off by 99% of people who aren't models in a magazine. Your best bet? Avoid them completely.



8.) The "Funny" Pick-Up Line Tee Shirt: These are never that funny, look lame, and will never in a million years pick up a half way decent girl who isn't devastatingly unattractive both inside and out.

9.) Anything From True Religion: Noticed how brands like Ed Hardy or Affliction weren't directly mentioned? The hope is, that if you're on this site, you already know those brands make the lamest stuff in the world. But the third lamest? One that you see otherwise put together dudes trying to rock? That's True Religion. This stuff is just a terrible look, especially the jeans with the giant horseshoes on the back pockets.

10.) Square-Toed Shoes: Want to look like a corporate drone who gets his suits at the buy one, get 17 free Jos. A. Bank sale? Wear these!

11.) Bootcut Jeans: These are unflattering, look lame, and are normally accompanied by dudes who think any pair of jeans more fitted than this is too feminine. They're both wrong and tasteless.

12.) "Goth Ninja" Streetwear: Let's face it, hypebeast teenagers who worship the ground Kanye West walks on, these looks aren't "next level" or "the future," they're just really dumb looking.

13.) Tee Shirts With Huge Luxury Brand Logos: Most of these are cheap knockoffs and even if a few aren't, they just scream desperation. By all means, invest in quality clothes, but you don't need to shout "GUCCI! PRADA! BURBERRY!" every time you run errands or go to a bar.